Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
