There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
