i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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