i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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