Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
