remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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