some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
