just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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