I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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