he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
