ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
