you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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