i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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