I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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