her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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