Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
