im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
