we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
