she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
