While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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