Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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