is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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