Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
