return my video game
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
