There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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