Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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