that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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