OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
