I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
