how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Randomize
