Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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