This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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