talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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