Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
