I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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