FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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