ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
