We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
