I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
