i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
