Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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