found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's just like the Real World with babies
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
