there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
