so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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