My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
