I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
