Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize