i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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