We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize