Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
