I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
