I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
