Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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