Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize