It's Friday. Sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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