Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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