Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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