her vagine was all disorganized.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
