if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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